About Me

    I’m a twenty something millennial hell bent on destroying as many industries as I can until only one remains: cinema. 

Credibility

    Hollywood may be a cesspool of disgusting moneygrubbing suits and executives, but hell if I’m not a sucker for literally everything they produce. From thrillers to romcoms, superhero flicks to absolute trash nonsense CGI dick busting crapfests, I’ll watch it. As to my credibility, I have seen nearly one thousand two hundred movies. I counted. I’m a maniac. Of those, I’ve written a review for about 126 of those movies (I haven’t posted all of them yet). I’ve taken exactly four (4) courses on film, and read almost two (2) whole books about filmmaking.

Frequency, Quality and Ratings

    Over the next few time periods I plan on publishing all or most of these reviews, plus any others I write. The following items cannot be guaranteed: the quality of writing, the quality of movie reviewed, the quality or quantity of humor. I am funny now, I may not be funny in my review for Schindler’s List.  Maybe.

I’ll tell you if the movie is smart or dumb, classy or trashy, quirky or grey, boring or interesting, topical or xenophobic. I discuss filmmaking techniques, cinematography and score as they create a series of moving images. Some reviews are simple reviews, some turn into crazy film theory rants. Reviews are scored out of 10 in the final paragraph. 

FAQ

    Where does the name ’85 Scenes’ come from? What does it mean? Will I stop after 85 reviews? Which scenes are being referred to?

The answers are nowhere, nothing really, no I won’t, and no scenes.

Plug

If you make movies and want someone to help you direct or shoot them, I am currently in Philadelphia, the LA of the east coast. I am also open to commissions for reviews, custom short stories, and other written works. I’m also free weekends if you need help moving.

Apologies in Advanced

My sincerest apologies to Shia Lebouf, Vin Diesel and any other actors, artists or individuals for making fun of you in my reviews. I know you’re a wonderful person and your contributions to film, cinema and the world are invaluable. I mean all jests to your public persona, not who you really are.

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