The Tomorrow War

I used my twitter feed as a guide to write this review, as I used my friends’ patience as a sounding board for my livestreamed mania as I blundered through The Tomorrow War, furiously screaming into the abyss of the internet, eager for someone’s attention – or better yet, validation. Best case scenario, Chris Pratt reads my review and agrees to elope <3.

The  movie is fun. It is undoubtedly, irrefutably fun. Guns, explosions, sci fi, pretty blonde women, pretty Chris Pratt. The whole nine. It’s dumb, but it’s fun. They take a fairly complex (but also somehow overdone??) time travel concept, mix in a dash of Traditional Dad Trope (TDT), and a heavy serving of basic bitch cis white male heroism (BBCWMH). It’s not offensive, it’s just boring.

The creature design is unique, and the way they introduce the overwhelming threat is unique in that they don’t blow their load too quickly. But when they do blow, they blow hard. We get these white, snarling, squiggly tailed creatures swarming all over the screen, completely dominating the shot with their presence. You can almost smell these disgusting, white creatures and their entrails.

Seriously though, it gets to be a bit much a bit too quick. I don’t know what the right solution is though, because the Whitespike monster ramps up exponentially in its quantity on screen. We go from one monster, to three, to a dozen, to a tidal wave horde of Whitespikes, but if we didn’t the movie wouldn’t make sense. It’s a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation, so I don’t really blame them.

Chris Pratt gets to be the hunky dad type who literally ziplines out of helicopters while shooting monsters, and becomes the de facto leader of a group of sidekicks. Who mostly happen to be black. That was weird. In the end, pretty much all the black people die, and the remaining black guy is relegated to comic relief. Meanwhile, the two white macho manly menly men save the day with lots of gunfire and one line zingers that reminded me of the climax of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, the opening scene of National Treasure, and some other third thing to make this run on sentence end nicely.

The movie isn’t special. Unfortunately, it’s another bland blah summer mind numbing blockbuster. They rip off the World War Z movie poster with that cat and the zombies and the helicopter. The most creative thing was a stupid shirt Chris wore. Most of everything else just felt like a cut and paste action flick with a heavy dose of CGI.

The soundtrack is good as it’s edited into the movie. Lorne Balf’s work elevates the movie to a truly cinematic experience, and ties together the flick with a nice, grand bow. It’s fitting, uncompromising and perfect for the movie. It isn’t his best work, but it’s far from his worst. The iconic music that plays in the best action scenes, however, isn’t that prevalent in the OST, which is a bummer. 

To sum things up, if you miss this movie, you’re not missing out. If you do watch this movie, shut off your brain and just enjoy the spectacle. If you’ve got a big TV and a good sound system, all the better. If you can somehow watch it in theaters, you’ll probably get the best experience. 4/10. I can’t remember where, but I swear I saw a movie with another hunky macho action star involving time travel, the end of the world, male creatures that rip apart our forces, and needing to kill the female to save the world. 

You can stream The Tomorrow War on Amazon Prime.

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